This post contains TMI (too much information), so if you can’t handle it, piss off!

Crusade I say? Yes. That is how I felt this last Friday night trekking from my house in Norfolk all the way to the Oceanfront in Virginia Beach. We left the house at six p.m. and didn’t get to our destination till nine. Believe me, it didn’t seem like three hours, it seemed like a decade lol! I did pretty well though! Granted I vomited horribly for an hour after getting to the gig but after that I felt good and really jammed out with Mike Gombas and Burn the Radio. I really enjoyed the set and there was a small but good crowd throughout the night. I like watching people get into BtR’s music, because it really is good and I like to support the guys. They pretty much thought we were crazy but were very happy to have us there. I’m going to have a big surprise for them hopefully next time I go ;)

Anyhow, on to the TMI, I know you’re anxious to hear it! lol Okay so it wasn’t hot thank god. It was 70 degrees-ish for the bike ride. I’ve decided I really, really need biking pants if I’m going to do long rides. Why? Because OH MY GOD my crotch OWWWWWW!!! I have broken skin, pulled skin, it hurts sooo bad. And yes.. if you’ve heard my complaints lately a lot has been happening to my poor lady parts. And most of it has been because of my bike seat, it’s just too small for my big butt. I’m going to get a plusher seat for my bike when I have the money but until them I’m stuck with this seat made for people with no butt (like my husband).

[NOTE: Go check out Joshua's new blog @ lifesharlequin.wordpress.com! He finally caved in and started bloggin :D]

So anyhow, what else is up? Not a whole lot. I am making my appointment tomorrow to begin therapy and making a doctors appointment to follow up with my doctor to try out a different anti-depressant. Prozac makes me nauseous for some reason. I’m also about to do a bunch of homework here in a moment. I’m going to catch myself up tonight. I got some good rest this afternoon so I’m ready to get a lot done. I’ll be really happy if I can get everything done and be completely caught up by tomorrow morning. Cross your fingers for me?

Sooooo! Last night Joshua and I went out to 37th and Zen which is an uber cute little place that opened not too long ago. And it’s just down the street so we walked! Why did we go out you ask? Well because we went to support Burn the Radio, our friend’s band. We’ve been to many of their gigs and house parties and since they were right down the street we of course had to go. There were two other bands playing last night too which were good, so we made a night of it.

I started off the evening with a tall Captain’n'Coke <3 Haven’t had a drink in some time so I figured, what the hell. And I got some OMG delicious crab and artichoke dip with chips. SO worth the ten bucks if that gives you any indication of how good it was. Josh had a free yuengling cause the bartender was letting the head go down and then forgot all about poor Josh. And then he had three Legend’s which he hadn’t had before and now (obviously) likes.

Josh had a lot of fun head-banging and bouncing around in front of the stage. And I had a lot of fun watching him and listening to the bands. To be honest it was one of the first times I’ve been comfortable at a gig. Usually I admit to being kind of clingy on Joshua because I’m somewhere I’m not comfortable. But this place was so nice and chill that I could just relax. So you can bet I’ll be going back some time.

Best of all? The dip and drinks was only $35! That’s seriously the cheapest tab I’ve ever run at a bar. Ever. (I’ve literally dropped hundreds at a bar before, so 35 bucks is insanely awesome)

Now… go back to the daytime. I woke up yesterday and felt like poo. Woke up to feed the dogs but ended up staying up for an hour or so, reading blogs and such. The puppy was very blissfully snoring (literally) in my lap with her head on my desk the whole time I decided to take her to the guest room to snore on the bed. I don’t usually lay down with Lani so it’s a treat for her. After waking up and getting to play for 20 minutes she settled down and was curled up with me for a few hours.

Spent some time with Joshua after we both had time in our offices gaming and going about our own business. Then we went downstairs for nomming and Mortal Kombat hah. I’ve not watched that movie in ages so it was fun to see again. Pointed out to Josh that it’s so awesome because it doesn’t try to be an A movie, just content in being a B movie. Which most video games to movies are, B movies. And so long as they don’t try to be better they are fun to watch. I like Mortal Kombat and Bloodrayne because they are straight geeky B movies, as it should be. The only ones I would call A movies are the Resident Evils and Hitman. At least those are the only ones that come to mind immediately.

And then I took a nap for three hours. I was tired as hell (and continue to be) so I needed to sleep before the gig. By the time we got home and settled  (bout four hours later) I was ready to pass out again.

And that brings me to this… lately any time I do any physical activities I seriously feel like I need to sleep afterwards. It’s not being tired, it’s straight fatigue. And it’s kind of alarming. Coupled with the fact that I have had some random tingling in my left hand, then my jaw, and then yesterday several of my fingers.. I’m kind of thinking something may be amiss. So I guess I’ll be making a doctor’s appointment. And I’ve still been having night sweats – which I even had last night which I could not attribute to the heat because the AC is on. :-\

Meh. Anyhow! I have lots to do today. Homework, moving my office around (yes, again), and trying to poke around my attic. We’ll see if it all gets done, ha.

Trashed = vomiting. I was watching him pretty closely and knew he was getting ready to enter the “pukey stage”. He starts acting like a horse when it’s time (lol, sounds odd but he does. He stamps the floor while lying on it, or generally makes very loud noises that I relate to a horse nervously pawing the ground). One thing led to another and the puke finally came… into the tub. Bleh. (currently soaking some pine sol in it to get the smell out) But he is snoring away now and has been for several hours in bed.

Needless to say I have been awake since then. I even took a trip to the 711 a mile away at 330am. And now, I’m about to pack a box of clothing to ship to my big brother which I need to take to the post office (biking with a box is going to be REAL interesting lol). Then I think I’ll get another Lean Machine and stroll around the book store. I’ve been taking notes and watching House for the last three hours so, I need a break.

But on to the title of the post, since I’m sure some of you are wondering wtf it means. Well, essentially I have decided that the reason I have been so utterly lazy and behind and depressed about life is because well… I haven’t been doing enough.  I have a tendency to get very frustrated when I begin to get bored, which is usually when my ADD is on the fritz. I’ve not been changing up my activities enough the last month to remain active. I try to do a lot in one sitting and that has never worked well for me (unless the activity is very enthralling, like when I go on 8 hours coding sprees without ever noticing that I’m hungry or have to pee).

So yesterday I went out just after the sun was up to get a smoothie and walk around. I was able to stay awake for several hours after that despite having been up almost a full day because my gears were going. I was getting things done. I felt good again. So today I’m sort of continuing the experiment. i’ve spent all night either watching shows I love that make me think, taking notes, talking to people, and checking on my husband/soothing him. (Which btw I still say I am the ninja of soothing drunk people)

And now I’m going to pack a box, shower, and go out for a few hours. Soak up some sunshine. I think I may take my textbooks to the park later this afternoon too. it’s supposed to be nice and sunny today (and is already). Heck, I may even go to the zoo. I’ve not been in several weeks now.

And to update you: I have been sleeping MUCH better since I stopped taking the prozac. No more nightmares every night, though I admit I am still having some odd dreams.

I feel weird though! I’m used to being pestered on the weekend lol. But he’s been gone for almost three hours now and still has another hour till the festival ends. I don’t know wth to do with myself! Well, it doesn’t help that I feel like complete shit either.

I didn’t even get out of bed until 3:30pm. I don’t know why but I’ve been having really bad sleep. And that means something considering I am like, the Grandmaster of Sleep. I can sleep for days, literally, and not mind one bit. In fact I can wake up and go right back to sleep most of the time. But lately, since the switch in my medications, I have had absolutely terrible sleep. I sleep very long periods, in choppy 3 or 4 hours spurts, and with crazy dreams. This week, every night, I have woken up from a dream soaking wet with sweat. My dreams are literally stressing me out so much I sweat.

A lot of my dreams have had to do with being unable to use my legs or trying to find Joshua. Both of which have sent me into a panic while dreaming, and thus the sweating. It’s really quite disturbing. Not to mention uncomfortable and gross.

So I’ve decided to stop taking the Prozac and see if my sleep returns to normal. I can take stress when I’m awake, but I can’t take my sleep being so disruptive. If I don’t sleep well I can’t function throughout the day. And if I can’t function throughout the day I don’t get anything done. I was supposed to go in to see whether we’d continue the meds but I figure I won’t even bother. While it does help throughout the daytime, I refuse to compromise my nighttime.

Maybe it’ll be back to square one. Or maybe things will have changed in this short period of time. We’ll just have to wait and see.

But I’m here to get some reading done as well. I have two chapters to read through for my usability class and some homework to do this evening for both my classes. I don’t know why but I have a much easier time getting things done when I’m not at the house. Well, I guess I do sort of know why and that’s because there is always something to distract me at the house. And in the back of my mind I’m always thinking of what chores I should do since I’m home. Meh!

Speaking of chores I have some to do when I get home. Have to finish folding laundry (my favorite, I know) and do some dishes. Plus there is some vacuuming I could do. (And probably clean the cat box, double meh)

Anyhow! After I’m done here I will be heading to the zoo to soak up some sunshine. Thankfully the high today is 70 so I won’t be boiling myself alive like the last two times I went. Nice to have some SPRING weather!

Vlog for 07 APR 10 from Keeshia Barker on Vimeo.