I’ve noted this as a rant, in the case that it turns into one – which is quite possible. Now… I’ve not had many lasting friendships throughout my lifetime. I had some long ones growing up in Vegas, and even reconnected with one of the three girls I called best friends during that time. But none have been consistent nor any particularly deep. Something always gets in the way.

I have two friends at the moment, well people I call friends at least. One I do lots of crafty things with and one I never get to see anymore and now barely speak to because of her busy schedule. The one I do crafty things with is awesome, always bubbly and a good influence I think, but she and I have very different backgrounds and I wouldn’t say we’d ever be lifelong companions – though I could be wrong. Where as the one that’s super busy is like me to the point of being uncanny and I could see being friends with her for many years to come. But as I said, stuff just gets in the way.

Even online, I never get to make any lasting friendships. So far I’ve made a few, with random conversations here and there but I don’t really get to know people like I wish I could. Save for two individuals I can’t think of anyone I’ve known more than 5 years online. And those two gals are gaming buddies.

Guess what I’m saying is, damn it I want real friends!

I am definitely missing my husband something fierce. Nothing debilitating but probably amplified by the whole PMDD thing heh. Thing is, since he’s gone a relatively short time it seems long. If he were going to be gone the 10 weeks we had anticipated it would be different. I would get used to being alone and then be fine. I’d miss him but it wouldn’t plague my mind, if that makes sense. But just as I’ll be getting to the ‘normal’ stage, he’ll be home. Which is fine by me I guess, I want my baby back. I want his little annoyances back. While they may irritate me for a few moments, they make my day interesting.

Come home already

Anyhow… went out to another craft fair in Virginia Beach with Katie today. Was fun, though a bit hot, and I got cotton candy! That’s all that matters right? Right. On the way back we stopped by Good Will and I got some frame stands for displays for my jewelry at the market end of this month. Need to figure out how I’m going to do the little displays though. And after that we headed to the asia grocery, which Katie had never been to an asian store before. I got new ramen bowls and “spoons”, miso soup packs, ingredients for mochi/bibinka (sorry mom.. can’t mail it to you, it’d be gross),  and the ever awesome pork buns. So good, so good. And I freaked Katie out by picking up a live blue crab I win.

So what else is up… errr… the other day I whipped out the miter saw (which prompted the hubster to ask if I had all my limbs still) and cut some wood for a door for my kitchen (troublesome felines!) and some shelves for my office. So I’ve been painting the wood since then. Just assembled the kitchen door but haven’t hung it yet. Might need to get some other screws at the hardware store tomorrow (very likely) since I don’t trust the junk screws that came with the hinges. And I’m almost done painting the shelving boards. Hopefully I have the screws to hang them. I’d like to get to my office tonight.

And yes, that means I’m moving it around, again. Haven’t you gotten used to that fact already? I don’t like furniture staying in the same place for too long. It just… bugs me. Not to mention, in the process of moving junk around I clean the space thoroughly and that’s a good thing.

Didn’t get to the cleaning I was going to do today cause I went out, so it’s been pushed to tomorrow. My house is filthy.. mostly the carpet but I have dusting to do as well. And laundry, ugh, my least favorite of things. Oh well. Back to painting!

Friday I took Lani to the vet for her week 6 visit. She had her leg x-rayed and re-wrapped. The vet said that two bones seemed to have calloused properly but two looked “clearly fractured” still. So we were planning to keep it on two more weeks (which I knew was possible anyhow). However…

Saturday the puppy pulled off the cast again. Not chewed off. PULLED THE F OFF! Which I put back on.. three times. She left it alone for a little over 24 hours and then when I came in this morning it was off and chewed to hell again today. So I, very angrily, went to the vet to have it re-wrapped… for the third time. But the male veterinarian noticed her using her leg and foot perfectly fine. So he pulled me into the room and said that he doesn’t think she needs it on any more. He said that she seems to have full mobility, uses the foot without any sign of pain, and that the x-ray shot  could simply not show that it is actually healed. So I said okay and we went home – without paying a thing, thank you. (A concept the assistants didn’t seem to understand when I came in and said, I’m not paying for you to re-wrap it.)

So, she seems to be completely healed and good as new. She can flex her foot (which originally was in question, we were unsure if shed ever be able to use her toes again) and doesn’t seem to be hindered in any way. And I’m happy that not only is she fixed but I no longer have to deal with the hassles of having a broken pup.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Some of you may remember that I have been reading How to Practice: A way to a meaningful life which is a book written by His Holiness the Dalai Lama about the practice of Buddhism. The book does not talk about Buddhism itself but mainly how a layman can begin their journey towards enlightenment. I say it’s for the layman because while it mentions the taking of vows as a monk or a nun it is mostly geared towards encouragement of integrating compassion, peace and calm, and Buddhist teachings into the lives of all humanity – no matter your religious, or otherwise, affiliations.

The more I read the more intrigued I am, and the more the Dalai Lama accomplishes his goal. By that I mean, I am very interested in not only incorporating these teachings into my daily life but beginning to delve deeper into the teachings of Buddhism. I have already found several books I would like to read to increase my knowledge and hopefully lead me into deeper understanding and ultimately closer to enlightenment.

Most don’t know me as a religious or especially spiritual person, and the only religious affiliations I have ever attached to myself is paganism. Not any particular faction of it either. You could sum up my belief very simply in that I held two truths: one – all life is connected and two –  your mind has more power than you could ever imagine. Call it what you will, prayer, magic, energy, whatever – your mind has the power to change your circumstances. The way you approach life changes everything. And as very everything being connected, we are a very interesting mix of life forms and it is a delicate balance with an intricate web of interdependency.

So here I am, half way through this first book and putting my foot down on a new path towards enlightenment, towards Buddha. Every new thought, each realization is a new experience and a step closer. It will be a long road, and maybe I won’t even get there in this life, but eventually I will reach it. And when that happens I will turn around and teach what I have learned, but I’ll share it all along the way too.