I’ve been the mall several times in the last month or so, either to just get out of the house or with friends to help them find stuff (cause I sure don’t have money for anything). I have not seen anything that could even REMOTELY fit me properly. And if it might fit me, it will show so much cleavage that I’ll blind people ten states away! Thank god I’m not working right now, I don’t know what the heck I would wear!

Cute but not for me

This summer it was impossible to escape a particular cut of shirt, the deep V cut you would usually find on a wrap-style dress. Now, I can tell you I have a couple items with this cut, two dresses and a top. And I have to wear a tank top underneath it in order not to moon the moon with my cleavage. (And I only don’t wear a tank top if I’m goin out to a bar or something where I don’t care about cleavage) These are awesome to women with no tits, but me? Not so much.

And then there is the material choices. Most of the things I do find that fit are either made out of some sort of lycra nastiness or a wannabe silk product. Neither of these are good ideas 95% of the time. As a result, back when I was still buying work clothes, I was constantly hunting down the cotton button down.

There is only one issue with the button down, and that is that most “fitted” versions just don’t fit. If left unfitted, they make me look fat and if fitted, they pull over the breasts in order to fit at the waist or if they fit in the chest the waist is too wide. Meh!  And don’t even get me started on finding pants that fit me… My thighs require a size 10 currently. Possibly a 12. But my butt only requires a 6 or 8. Add to that that I am 5 feet tall and you have a big pot brewing disappointment at every turn.

Long story short? I’d like people to start designing for REAL women HERE in the U.S. I want a selection to choose from and not have to go to some special store to find it. I want to be able to walk into every major women’s clothing store and be able to find at least five outfits that fit me. And what will I do to stores that don’t carry things not made for walking two by fours? I’ll simply not patron them and preach their evil to everyone who thinks about going there!

I have two friends at the moment, well people I call friends at least. One I do lots of crafty things with and one I never get to see anymore and now barely speak to because of her busy schedule. The one I do crafty things with is awesome, always bubbly and a good influence I think, but she and I have very different backgrounds and I wouldn’t say we’d ever be lifelong companions – though I could be wrong. Where as the one that’s super busy is like me to the point of being uncanny and I could see being friends with her for many years to come. But as I said, stuff just gets in the way.

Even online, I never get to make any lasting friendships. So far I’ve made a few, with random conversations here and there but I don’t really get to know people like I wish I could. Save for two individuals I can’t think of anyone I’ve known more than 5 years online. And those two gals are gaming buddies.

Guess what I’m saying is, damn it I want real friends!

So you may be just as surprised as I am to find out that I found a bikini that should fit from Victoria’s Secret of all places. And if you don’t know why this is a surprise… VS is not known for carrying good looking items in bigger sizes (I.E. over a C cup) and I happen to be bigger than a C. However, the top I found in large is supposed to fit a 36D bra size so I’m really hoping they aren’t lying to me cause it is uber cute! And the bottoms are to fit a women’s size 10-12 int he medium size which is what I ordered.And here’s the photos!

Cute polka dot top

Cinch side boy short bottoms

Tha back of the bottoms

I got the bottoms in “tan” which matches the brown polka dots on the top. I wanted to get them in hot pink but that wasn’t available because the items are on clearance. Total with shipping it was $30! That’s such a steal. Usually just a top that fits me is $30 (and never as cute as this one).

I’m really, really hoping I’m not let down by this purchase. And on the topic of my fat ass… I’ve been working out. I did an hour the other night of crunches, elliptical, and toning work. Going to do similar this evening but I think I’ll toss in some exercises on the Bowflex to tone up my arms.  I would say work on my legs too but they will likely be dead after the elliptical again. I’m happy I can do the whole hour of working out though. That in and of itself is a sign that I’ve improved massively since a year ago when 30 minutes was way too much. I will have my bangin’ body back by the end of the year damnit!

With the loss of jobs, the skyrocketing prices of everything from education to the very basic necessities like food and utilities, and the lowering of pay by many companies how are we realistically supposed to live? I will however admit that people have become so ignorant to what they truly need to survive and to live well. We perpetuate this idea that you need all these gadgets, all this property to hoard and show off, when really you don’t. You DON’T need a flat screen. You DONT need a 6 bedroom house. You DONT need to go out to eat all the time or go on that shopping spree. And I admit to being guilty of this to a degree.

I most certainly didn’t need this big house of mine. Though realistically it was an investment that, at the time, I felt would benefit my life later. It is right down the street from the Uni I was going to, I didn’t need a car or public transit. I was right down the street from work. Things were going just fine. And then tada! I’m out of work. Now, without even that meager extra income things like buying groceries or laundry soap, dog food, those monthly necessities is extremely more difficult.

Even careful budgeting doesn’t help. If you don’t have the money, you simply don’t have the money. There is nothing to be budgeted! The biggest thing that’s helped is cutting corners wherever however possible. Things like getting rid of cable, land line telephone, cutting back on use of the heater or AC (my house was beyond frigid this winter), and even cutting back on how much you spend on food. We’ve started buying store brands mostly. A couple cents per item adds up over time. We try to use coupons when we can, find deals where we can. (Which BTW, if you shop at Kroger be sure to sign up at the website and load coupons directly onto your Kroger card!! When you card is scanned and an item eligible for a coupon on your card is rung up, the coupon is automatically applied)

As for work, in my area I have applied to over 100 jobs since Jan 2009. I have been to 4 interviews out of those 100. None of which panned out. Most irritating of all is that only that handful of employers actually bother to reply to your application. And you cannot tell me I’m not qualified for these jobs I applied to. Some of them are as simple as answering the phone, filing papers, etcetera. You’re going to tell me that I’ve been in college since 2004 and am not qualified to answer the telephone?? And this isn’t just my story, it is the same for so many people throughout the states.

So what’s my point? Refer to the title.

The end result is I’m back to my p.o.s. katana and have to wait until we have money to get new phones. *sigh* So much for my glee and happiness.

I am what you could call a “Mac Girl”. I own a Mac Pro with 30″ HD Apple Cinema display, a 17″ Macbook Pro, and two iPods – an 80GB one and I think a 4GB iPod nano from way back when. I have yet to own an Apple I don’t like and that is why I’m a faithful Apple buyer. And I’ve had my fair share of PCs, from a crappy Packard Bell onward. So let’s start with the smallest eh?

Apple iPod Nano

My iPod Nano is a first generation (crazy to believe that for me,but whatever). I’ve had this baby since 2005 and let me tell  you, it’s been abused. Not only has it gone through the normal dropping, throwing, bouncing around, etc, it has also survived going through the washer and dryer. Yeah. It went through the WASH. It seemed to have died for a while so I put it away and didn’t bother with it. I ended up buying my next iPod thinking this baby was dead. But six months later I pulled it out of the box I’d stashed it in and voila, it worked! (It just needed to completely dry out is all)

The space was enough at the time and I still prefer to use the nano for working out because the full sized iPod is just too big for me to carry comfortably on any body part other than my hip/thigh and I don’t want to get another carrier. The nano is great for having just a couple different playlists and switching them out when you get bored with the selection that is on it.

Apple iPod

This iPod is a sixth generation 80GB beast that holds all of my music and videos, which I have quite a lot of. It is my best friend while traveling because I have all my stand-up comedy and movies on it and it has a pretty good battery life. The display on this iPod is more than enough for me and the bulk is actually a plus for me when I’m listening to it while sleeping. It doesn’t get so easily lost in the sheets heh. I’ve also given this iPod its fair share of beatings because I no longer keep it in a case (I have a plastic, hard case around here somewhere for it. Makes it look all pink instead of silver). I would have liked this iPod better if it were white like my nano and not silver. I’m not a fan of that for the iPod.

Apple Macbook Pro (17″)

Okay… so yeah. This is a previous gen for me, I wish I had the newest one simply for it being lighter. That is my only day-to-day complaint on this computer: the weight. When I used to carry it all day from class to class to work it was a pain to lug around. However, the weight is worth the power and ability to pretty much run anything and everything I want.

I run bootcamp on the machine to use Windows XP. I have yet to have a single problem running any program or game on this monster. The airport wireless in my house isn’t all too great (mostly due to my plaster walls) but out on other wifi it performs great.  I run all of Adobe/macromedia on the computer, various different games, and without speakers (just using the built in) it’s fantastic for watching movies and tv shows.

Battery life is great, however I have had a battery come apart after several years of use (I guess.. 3 almost 4 years?), which was very annoying but I was lucky enough to find a genuine battery for $55 online with a charge guarantee (which I just got less than a month ago and is working perfectly). The power cord for the laptop is a piece of crap really. The first one I had melted at the connection point (where it plugs into the computer) and the wires came apart under the melted plastic. And now the one I have (after replacing the last one, obviously) decided to try and come apart at the adapter. Annoying but was fixable with electrical tape. But I will say it’s nice that the power cord is convertible. You can either have the regular Type B plug (3 prong) or put on the piece to have it a Type A plug (2 prong).

Now… hmm.. No problems, at all, with the display. It’s perfect. Same today as it was when I opened the box.

Keyboard. Oh keyboard… lol Like all my electronics, it’s taken a beating haha I spilt a whole cup-o-noodles into it *facepalm* Yeah I’m retarded. BUT! To my surprise it wasn’t like 1000 dollars to fix. With labor and all it was $250 to replace the keyboard and cleanup everything else.

The SuperDrive. It does not like scratched discs.. at all. To the point where I keep getting discs stuck in it, which is a pain in the butt because the drive does not have an auto-release button so you have to do all these stupid tricks to try and get the disc to come out.

Apple Mac Pro

AKA  THE BEAST! lol This is what I call him (yes, it is a HIM not a HER). I have not had a single, not ONE, problem with this computer. Nothing hardware OR software related. Nor have I had to do a single upgrade (other than going from Tiger to Leopard, which was optional) to it. I haven’t had a single piece of software nor add-on hardware that this baby can’t handle either.

But here’s the catch. I paid eight thousand dollars for the beast. That’s right. Eight grand. Two thousand just for the monitor. But then again, calculate in the fact that four years later, I’ve not had to do a single thing to it and that I don’t anticipate having to do a single thing to it’s hardware for years to come. The only thing I do have planned to do to it is add another 30″ monitor. (The beast is capable of running another 30″ and a 24″ without so much as blinking. I’ve tried it out )

So other than some bugs with the Macbook Pro, I have very little to complain about with my Apple products. And I have to say I’m very, very happy with them all. Even at their seemingly outrageous prices (which are slowly coming down).

And.. I want to add an iPhone to this list. And honestly now that I don’t really use my laptop out and about I’m still wondering if I’d be happier with a Macbook Air.. who knows!