Come home already

Anyhow… went out to another craft fair in Virginia Beach with Katie today. Was fun, though a bit hot, and I got cotton candy! That’s all that matters right? Right. On the way back we stopped by Good Will and I got some frame stands for displays for my jewelry at the market end of this month. Need to figure out how I’m going to do the little displays though. And after that we headed to the asia grocery, which Katie had never been to an asian store before. I got new ramen bowls and “spoons”, miso soup packs, ingredients for mochi/bibinka (sorry mom.. can’t mail it to you, it’d be gross),  and the ever awesome pork buns. So good, so good. And I freaked Katie out by picking up a live blue crab I win.

So what else is up… errr… the other day I whipped out the miter saw (which prompted the hubster to ask if I had all my limbs still) and cut some wood for a door for my kitchen (troublesome felines!) and some shelves for my office. So I’ve been painting the wood since then. Just assembled the kitchen door but haven’t hung it yet. Might need to get some other screws at the hardware store tomorrow (very likely) since I don’t trust the junk screws that came with the hinges. And I’m almost done painting the shelving boards. Hopefully I have the screws to hang them. I’d like to get to my office tonight.

And yes, that means I’m moving it around, again. Haven’t you gotten used to that fact already? I don’t like furniture staying in the same place for too long. It just… bugs me. Not to mention, in the process of moving junk around I clean the space thoroughly and that’s a good thing.

Didn’t get to the cleaning I was going to do today cause I went out, so it’s been pushed to tomorrow. My house is filthy.. mostly the carpet but I have dusting to do as well. And laundry, ugh, my least favorite of things. Oh well. Back to painting!

Saturday the puppy pulled off the cast again. Not chewed off. PULLED THE F OFF! Which I put back on.. three times. She left it alone for a little over 24 hours and then when I came in this morning it was off and chewed to hell again today. So I, very angrily, went to the vet to have it re-wrapped… for the third time. But the male veterinarian noticed her using her leg and foot perfectly fine. So he pulled me into the room and said that he doesn’t think she needs it on any more. He said that she seems to have full mobility, uses the foot without any sign of pain, and that the x-ray shot  could simply not show that it is actually healed. So I said okay and we went home – without paying a thing, thank you. (A concept the assistants didn’t seem to understand when I came in and said, I’m not paying for you to re-wrap it.)

So, she seems to be completely healed and good as new. She can flex her foot (which originally was in question, we were unsure if shed ever be able to use her toes again) and doesn’t seem to be hindered in any way. And I’m happy that not only is she fixed but I no longer have to deal with the hassles of having a broken pup.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Some of you may remember that I have been reading How to Practice: A way to a meaningful life which is a book written by His Holiness the Dalai Lama about the practice of Buddhism. The book does not talk about Buddhism itself but mainly how a layman can begin their journey towards enlightenment. I say it’s for the layman because while it mentions the taking of vows as a monk or a nun it is mostly geared towards encouragement of integrating compassion, peace and calm, and Buddhist teachings into the lives of all humanity – no matter your religious, or otherwise, affiliations.

The more I read the more intrigued I am, and the more the Dalai Lama accomplishes his goal. By that I mean, I am very interested in not only incorporating these teachings into my daily life but beginning to delve deeper into the teachings of Buddhism. I have already found several books I would like to read to increase my knowledge and hopefully lead me into deeper understanding and ultimately closer to enlightenment.

Most don’t know me as a religious or especially spiritual person, and the only religious affiliations I have ever attached to myself is paganism. Not any particular faction of it either. You could sum up my belief very simply in that I held two truths: one – all life is connected and two –  your mind has more power than you could ever imagine. Call it what you will, prayer, magic, energy, whatever – your mind has the power to change your circumstances. The way you approach life changes everything. And as very everything being connected, we are a very interesting mix of life forms and it is a delicate balance with an intricate web of interdependency.

So here I am, half way through this first book and putting my foot down on a new path towards enlightenment, towards Buddha. Every new thought, each realization is a new experience and a step closer. It will be a long road, and maybe I won’t even get there in this life, but eventually I will reach it. And when that happens I will turn around and teach what I have learned, but I’ll share it all along the way too.

The biggest thing I have gleaned so far from this book is a new conscious effort to examine what I do – especially when dealing with others. I’ve also rediscovered the importance of meditation. Once upon a time I would meditate at least 20 minutes a day. This time was spent realigning my mind, so to speak. I would think about things that happened or would happen that day, problems I was having and how to solve them, and generally putting myself into a better state – emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. This is something I very much need back in my life and it’s already been added to the schedule.

Yep, I’ve drawn up a schedule. It starts August 2nd and will go on for as long as I can manage it. It includes work out time, meditation times, studying/coursework, design work, crafting, and reading times. It also has set times for eating with only two meals a day – breakfast and early dinner – but has two snack times, one around lunch time and one in the evening. I’ll be removing any sort of food from my office and elsewhere in the house and making it all stay in the kitchen. It’s not that I have a bad diet, I don’t really. But I don’t eat when I should and it’s making it difficult to keep a steady energy level throughout the day. I’ll also be altering my diet to be higher in fruit/veg/grain with portions of pork/chicken for dinner. Need to work protein into my diet, as I’ve not been ingesting enough of it. And I need to get back on my vitamins and supplements.

As for exercise, I’ll be doing an hour of cardio in the morning before meditation. And then another half hour or so in the evening while on the phone with my mom – so she can get her butt on the treadmill too! (And you better mom cause I’m buying a Bluetooth headset for that explicit purpose!) I’ll be changing adding in some bowflex exercises 3 times a week, on top of the daily cardio. I’m really hoping to lose some weight while the hubby is away. I have 10 weeks, that’s potentially what? 30 pounds or so? That would put be down to 133lbs That would be a very nice improvement.

So anyhow, it’s high time for change and I’m going to do it this time. No more saying and not doing!

Also in recent news, I found out my husband is being deployed for two months. And we had plans for two things during that time. One being his father visiting us and the other being our birthday. I hate spending our birthday apart and it has always been a deployment that keeps us from spending it together. I’m going to have to alter my plans to celebrate our birthday after he gets back.

Finances are still meh. I haven’t found any work and I haven’t had any replies from job applications. It greatly annoys and depresses me that over the last almost two years I have put in well over one thousand applications (and that is not an overstatement, by any means) and I’ve gotten only a handful of interviews (literally, like five). Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with my resume nor are my cover letters bad, but with the economy like it is every company is being flooded with applications that they now have to REALLY sort through. Where one day I would have gotten dozens of calls, my application falls to the wayside with everyone else who isn’t a perfect match for the position. In addition, if they can find someone for the grunt jobs that has no experience, they’d rather hire the person they can pay squat for.

But I’m looking into some scheduling for the months of August and September at the Fleet Family Services office to go in and see if there is anything I can do to improve my chances. They have a lot of stuff I’ve never taken advantage of and I really should. I mean, if I don’t exhaust every free service I can then I can’t say I’ve done everything I could right?

Well anyhow. I’m out of school BUT I’ve started relearning French. In addition to that I’m going to brush up on some coding things I need to prep myself for the upcoming session of classes. This brings up another ranty sort of topic. More like yelling at myself. I miss being smart, feeling smart and not feeling like I’m lagging behind. I need to relearn how to study again.

…. hrmm, what else. I’m crafting again. Knitting and crocheting now to prep for winter as I mentioned. I’m looking into venues to sell my stuff locally too. There is a market on the last Saturday of August and September I think I will go to. I just need to purchase a table and such, though it would be awfully hippie-like of me to sell it straight from a blanket ahaha! But if anyone has any ideas of where to look for sales, let me know!

The weather continues to be hot as hell. And I haven’t been to the beach in weeks. I have a day bus pass in my wallet though just begging me to take it to the beach :lol:. I have zero qualms going anywhere all by myself. I could lay on the beach all day with my iPod and be perfectly content. I think I will go later this week. I love the beach..

Anyhow! Lani is still doing alright. It seems her leg is healing just fine cause it doesn’t seem to bother her one single bit, save for the cast being a chew toy still. She’s had the cast on for about a month now. I’ll have to take her in later this week to get it checked and probably re-wrapped. And the bigger pups are doing just fine. They are eating plenty of Dog Chow and fattening up.

Well that’s all for now. See ya later!

She pointed out the thought of shifting from being a “tell it all” blogger to censoring one’s words. My mom always nags about not putting things on my blog that could one day come back to bite me. Mostly to do with the fact that people hiring for jobs these days check out people’s online lives. IE: Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etcetera. I have a pretty active online social life. Between my games, facebook, twitter, blogging, and other avenues I put a lot of information out there about myself.

I’ve always been very open – especially online. I feel “safer” online. Ha, no I don’t mean safety from retaliation or backlash. I mean.. I’ve never been good at oral communication. I’ve gotten much better at it since I became an “adult” but I was and still am to a degree very introverted. But online I am able to pour out my heart and soul without having to worry about stumbling over my words, crying from frustration, and various other horrid side effects that people witness when they try to get me to talk.

Once upon a time you could throw any topic at me and I wouldn’t care. You could ask me the most intimate of questions and I would answer you, blatantly, honestly, and without hesitation. But since people have entered my little world a side of me has kicked in that I sometimes wish would well.. piss off.

I’m a Libra, through and through. I do not like confrontation. I will avoid it like the plague. Even if it means causing myself unbearable agony. I will bottle every little thing up until I burst… and then I’ll continue to do it. I want the people around me to be happy, even if it means I’m not allowed to be. And this trait has caused me more trouble than it’s probably worth in most cases. Yet I still feel the need to do it.

I can honestly say I miss being brave enough to just throw myself out there. I’ve never liked the thought of being accepted as a half truth. I’ve never liked having to censor myself. And I’ve never liked having to worry about what anyone thinks of me. And to be honest only two people really matter in that respect. But it’s an interesting display of dominoes. One topples onto another and it all becomes a grapevine, ending in the arrival of drama into my life. Drama that I don’t need and definitely don’t want.

So who knows how long it will last. But for now, I’ll keep the peace and not throw myself wildly out to the wind.